I have been dealing with mental health issues and substance abuse for a few years, and was admitted to IMH a number of times since. It was always a lonely, tiring road that seemed like it was going nowhere.
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, COVID-19 hit and I was forced to stay home during circuit breaker. Because of the restrictions, I could not meet my psychologist as often, or escape by making myself busy. I felt even more like the end was near, I thought all hope was lost. That is, until I met my saviour, an English Bulldog named MomoKill.
When I saw her, I immediately knew that we could connect. She was an excited young pup, but the other dogs didn’t seem to like her as much as she liked them. She was constantly being growled at, ignored, yet always remained hopeful and happy. Being an English bulldog, she kind of has a resting angry face, but if you look beyond that, you’d see a beautiful, gentle soul.
I remember a call I had with my therapist at IMH. She encouraged me to get a small support animal, like a hamster. The next day, I brought home a 23kg English Bulldog. I guess that’s close enough to a hamster, right?
Through the ups and the downs
Since then, when I needed a hand, she lent me a paw. I remember countless of nights where I would not be able to sleep, and MomoKill was right there beside me, always. She licked my tears and sat in my lap (yes, a 23kg doggo) until I calmed down and went to bed. She would try to cheer me up when she sensed something was off. I remember her comforting my sister and I when we had a huge fight, and helped us reconcile in the end. When I felt the urge to relapse in my addiction, she sat beside me and I knew she was rooting for me not to give in.
What she taught me
Being a chonky doggo with multiple rolls of fat, she helped me realise that you could be plus sized and beautiful at the same time.
I’ve learnt that not all superheroes wear capes. Some are covered in fur and snuggle in your bed. MomoKill and I are very similar, and don’t have many friends, so it’s us against the world!
Sometimes I get scared of what will happen when she passes on, but she reminds me that even though she will not be with me my entire life, I’ll be with her throughout her life. And that is enough for us.