As I go gray, I want my hooman to know…

I opened my doggo eyes to the warm sunlight and I think of my younger days where I would bounce up and run out to play. Somewhere in my 13 years of life, things changed.

It was not because I have become less playful, neither was it because the toys weren’t fun anymore. It’s simply because I couldn’t gather the energy to move like I used to. And that’s okay because it’s natural, right? Every doggo ages eventually.

As I go gray, I want my hooman to know that…

Age spots are a part of my aging journey.

You may have noticed that when you bathed me with your tender hands, my skin has more dark spots than when I was a pupper. I know you are concerned about why my looks started changing but I guess, it’s just a fact we both had to accept. Much like how grandma and granddad get their spots when they age.

My fur will turn lighter like how your hair will turn gray.

As you stroke my fur and look through my pupper photos, you gasped as you see how much my colour changed. It might seem like a little bit of colour gets washed off with every bath, which would be funny. However, it’s just that my body stops using energy to make colours for my coat so that I can have more energy to play with you.

English Cocker Spaniel Puppy Sitting On Ground Beside Grass

I wish I can walk a little further.

Nothing is better than some walkies with my favourite hooman, especially the reeeeaaalllly long ones. But my tiny little legs hurt inside with every step after some time, probably because of arthritis, weaker bones or simply fatigue. I can’t tell you when I am in pain, so all I can do is to stop a little while when it hurts. If you caught me limping, that’s because I was trying to keep up with you. Every day, I try to move a little further than yesterday.

My eyes that may have turned hazy, still see clearly.

When I see your worried look as you look me in the eyes, I knew my eyes did not seem as bright as they were. I know you are worried that I might be going blind. But, dear hooman, please don’t worry too much about it. My hazy eyes can still see you clearly and I am grateful for that. Nuclear sclerosis is the reason why my eyes are slightly blueish now. However, it is different from cataracts. I wish to see your happy face more while I still can, please do not worry as I can still see very well.

Pawn Pug Sitting on Beige Floor

Wrinkles are my evidence of memories with you.

With every walkies, zoomies and time spent panting living with you, my skin leaves precious folds to remember the good times we had. The first area you might notice where I have wrinkles would be my neck. The skin gets slightly loose and saggy. While it changes how I look externally, these marks on my body are beautiful souvenirs from the good times we have so I love every fold on my skin. I hope you love them too.

I am grateful to you, my dearest hooman.

In a blink of an eye, thirteen years have passed. While I don’t know how much time we have left to spend together, I just want to say thank you for giving me a good life. I know you sometimes blame yourself for not doing better but I wish you can find comfort to know that I enjoyed and appreciate everything you have done for me. I hoped I have been a good girl that doesn’t cause you any trouble and I will continue to strive to do so.

Lastly, I know you might already be thinking of my departure one day. Even though it is painful to separate, I wish you can be with me until my very last breath. And I hope that that is not too much to ask for in exchange for all the good memories we had created together.

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